Last year was a crazy whirlwind of change full of both heartache and happiness. Most days my only goal was just to get through that day. The little moments of quiet time with God and crying to him on the way to work almost every morning are what got me through.
Last year was also strange because God was answering a couple of big prayers that I had prayed for years (and in the least expected ways) but at the same time I felt like all my dreams and goals had gotten tossed in the garbage – and with them, a piece of me. I felt like I lost Joni in many ways last year.
My life is incredibly different than what it was one year ago. I am truly blessed and would make the same hard decisions I did last year all over again if I had too. Now, I’m starting to feel more like me again, although I know I will never be the same Joni I was before last year, and that is a good thing.
Last week as I was having my quiet time the Lord told me it was time to pull those old dreams and goals out of the garbage can. He told me that they never left my spirit but just got buried for a while. He said it was okay. He knew I had been in “survival mode” last year. Now I find myself with three things I never dreamed I’d have: a new husband, another baby, and a bonus son. And of course, I still have my amazing older sons, Dylan and Chase. Again, I am incredibly blessed.
Now I am starting to feel excited about my dreams again. I’m excited to see what other surprises God has in store for me and how He’ll make them happen. It may look different than what I’ve dreamed but that is exciting. I look out on the horizon and see endless possibilities.
I want you to know that if you have, or are going through a difficult season in life, it’s okay to feel different for a while. It’s okay to take time for yourself and do what you need to do to get through and survive. The people who truly love you will let you have your space and come back around when you’re ready. And more than anything, know that you are still valuable. You still count. And your dreams and goals are still there for you to chase when you are ready.
If you are going through a difficult time and need to know or be reminded of how loved you are, check out my devotional, 28 Days of Love, here: https://joni.love/28-days-of-love