Today, I sat down and started editing one of my videos for my YouTube channel, The Free Life. A few seconds into the video I heard the Lord say, “Why are you so hard on her?” Almost immediately the tears began to flow. I looked at myself in that video and it was as if the Lord let me see myself, just a fraction, of the way He sees me.
There was a time where I wasn’t so hard on myself. I was so confident in God’s love for me that I could dismiss every negative thought Satan tried to feed me. Then slowly my confidence began to diminish again and I spent many years hiding my sadness. I was genuinely happy and confident around most people and in most situations. However, that wasn’t the case in, what should’ve been my safe place and with who should’ve been my “safe person,” – the person who should’ve loved me and accepted me the most.
I am now with a person who I am safe to be myself with, who loves who I am and how God created me. So naturally my confidence has gone back up. Yes, I lean into God to get my confidence, however when you are with someone who loves you for you it really makes a difference too. With that being said, I have still gone through a few things that stole some of my confidence again. So, sometimes I feel like I’m not measuring up. I’m not doing enough. I question whether I am hearing God correctly. I worry about if I am doing everything He wants me to or if I’m missing the mark.
**INSERT BIG SIG HERE**
It can be exhausting.
Anyway, after the tears started flowing God reminded me of this verse:
“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” – Jeremiah 31:3
God loves us with an everlasting love and an unfailing kindness. So that means I should be kind to myself. And you should too. Because no matter what, his love for us is unfailing and if He is kind to us shouldn’t we be kind to ourselves too?
~ For more about this topic, watch this video.