I had a dream last night that reminded me of the way I was treated for years… made to feel like I wasn’t good enough, something was wrong with me, I wasn’t lovable. Always asking, “What’s wrong with me? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Tell me what to change and I’ll change! Please, why aren’t I good enough? What did I do? What did I do,” and never got an answer. As I was yelling those same questions and pleading for answers in my dream I woke up crying and feeling like my heart was completely broken in two. However, this dream was more of a nightmare because in the dream it was a different person and they had abandoned me in another city. I know they would never abandon me and they show me they love me every day, so it hurt so much more – one hundred times more!!
The difference between the real experience I had and the dream is that one person abandoned me emotionally and the other abandoned me physically. The point in both scenarios, though, is that you should never be left wondering why you’re not good enough for someone (who is supposed to love you) to love you or made to feel like you’re not enough. If someone you really don’t know that well or someone you’re not close with, like a co-worker or an acquaintance makes you feel that way, it doesn’t really matter. However, a close family member, a parent, or a spouse, is a different story. It’s amazing because looking back on my real life experience, I can see that I was good enough all along. God loved me. He loved me the way I was. That is all that mattered. The truth is, the other person had their own demons to deal and I now can see that they were most likely projecting the way they felt about themselves onto me.
I felt lead to share this because I know there are many people who are dealing with feelings of rejection. If you are one of them, you need to know that you are loved and you are good enough. The real judge of your worthiness of love is God and He has always loved you. Even in your darkest moments, your darkest sin, He loved you. Religion gets it twisted and the devil will tell you God hates you because of your sin but that’s not true. God LOVES YOU but HATES the sin!! God will never abandon us. It’s us who abandon Him. If you’ve abandoned Him, just tell Him you are back and He will welcome you with open arms. No matter what, know that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
