Those hate filled words did the job they were intended to do and filled me with fear. But only for a moment. I quickly remembered that God would never let me end up on the street. I was reminded that He would provide for all my needs, especially since He was the one leading me down this new path. Then the next day after that word curse (because that’s exactly what it was, a curse) was spoken over me, God asked me, “Joni, if you were to end up losing everything do you still trust me?” My answer was, “Yes, Lord.”
The road has ended up being harder than I thought it would be. However, I’ve had the same job all year. My bills have not gone unpaid. I have health insurance. I have not gone hungry, and I most definitely have not spent one day or night on the street. When my heater broke in the middle of a big snowstorm, I didn’t freeze. God provided help and provision every single time I needed it. Even during the toughest week when I only had $27 in my bank account, I never went without anything I needed. Obviously, some days have been hard. It’s on those days that I had to show God just how much I really do trust Him. I may have cried for a minute but soon found joy because my hope lies with Him. The “secret” to getting through those moments was keeping my eyes on Him. Remembering that He works all things together for those who love Him (Romans 8:28) and that He would never leave me hanging. And He hasn’t.
Nine months later and the road is feeling smoother. I have a new husband who is very skilled and gifted at what he does, and the Lord just answered a prayer and gave him a new job. We have a baby on the way (due in December) and at the end of this month I will be able to quit my job and prepare for being a stay-at-home mom as well as getting back to the passion and purpose God has put in my heart to pursue. All of the hardship is turning into blessing, not just financially but in every aspect of my life, because I chose to stay in faith and declare my trust in Him. I am happy, experiencing real, unconditional love from a Godly man, and the Lord is healing years of wounds. I have no doubt that I have taken the path that I was meant to take.
I have learned a lot this year. One thing is not to let other people’s words have power over you. Those words were spoken in hate and not from God. Those words were a tool of the enemy, straight from the pit of hell. However, God used what was meant for my harm and showed me just how much He loves me. Those words meant to destroy made me stronger and strengthened my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap; they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! – Luke 12:24
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4: 19
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. – Matthew 6: 31-32