Divorced
A scarlet letter.
Shame
Slandered
Wondering if God was still going to use me or if I had blown it.
Wondering if every hard thing in my life was a punishment from God.
Wondering if He was still going to let me walk out the prophesies spoken over my life and calling.
Knowing I was still His daughter, but thinking my crown was tarnished.
For five years, I went through sifting, tears, and healing. Finally stepping into the confidence of being fully loved by Him.
Having an entrepreneurial spirit, I prayed for five years for God to show me what to do next – what my next business would be. While also asking Him how I can fulfill the desire in my heart to minister to people and help them find freedom in Him. (Even though I felt like I had lost some of my own.)
Five years.
Then in one morning, He gave me not only the answer, but how to do it. One morning. So with lots of excitement, I took the first step and signed up for the courses He led me to.
Three months later, I am finished with those courses, and I am not the same woman I was when I started them. Through taking those courses, I experienced an incredible transformation. I have a deeper intimacy with God because the lies I had been believing were gone, and I can hear Him like never before. I have a deeper revelation of my identity as His daughter and what that really means, setting me free from fear, shame, and anxiety. He’s shown me I haven’t blown my purpose. He’s still going to use me to point people to Jesus. I’m not disqualified. And I am dreaming with Him again. I am confident in His love for me, knowing that it has never wavered.
I am so excited to be taking the next step with Him to fulfill the desire He put in my heart to help set the captives free by helping them experience everything I have in the last three months.
I share this because someone else needs to know that you haven’t blown it too badly, that God still loves you and will use you.
I realized I wasn’t ready for the next step five years ago. I needed to heal so I could help others. I couldn’t help to my full potential if I was still broken. And someone needs to hear that, too. If you want to help others heal, you need to be honest with God, lay it all at His feet, and go through the process of pruning and healing. There are many tears when doing that, but they are cleaning tears that set us free.